unprecedented storm of protest and no wonder.
It its latest edition, it ran a story about how a porn film was being shot in a town centre park, just 200 metres from the town hall, in the middle of the day. But the newspaper went further; on its front page, it printed a photo of one of the actresses performing a sex act on one of the actors, while inside, there was a photo spread of the actors and actresses busy shagging one another, for scenes from the film. Not surprisingly, the editor’s phone was soon red hot and so too were the social media, filled with complaints from readers. Before all this happened, no-one had heard of Hebdo Info outside its circulation area; now, most people in France know all about it.
The past week has also seen yet another massive jewellery robbery, this time at a tollbooth on the motorway between the south of France and Paris, in the Burgundy department. The attack on the two lorries carrying the jewellery was clearly well planned and the thieves got away with something like €10 millions’ worth of jewellery. The gang has yet to be apprehended and the robbery comes after a spate of similar high value robberies both in the place Vendome area of the French capital and on the Riviera.
There was also a spectacular accident caused by a small plane taking off from the high level runway at Avoriaz in the French Alps. The plane didn’t make it and as it was skidding down the mountainside, it hit a 55 year old woman from Poland, who was ski- ing and didn’t hear the plane hurtling down the slopes behind her. The propellor hit her and nearly amputated her hand, so the unfortunate tourist is now in hospital instead of on the slopes. Also in the French Alps, in the Haute Savoie department, the Maison des Bois restaurant burned down early on Tuesday morning this week.
The restaurant, which only opened in 2013, and which also contained valuable artworks and other local cultural items, was the brainchild of Marc Veyrat, considered by many to be the best chef in France.He has promised to rebuild.
In the end to a tragic story within the past few days, Florence Arthaud, the wonderful long distance sailor, one of the sports personalities killed in the helicopter crash in Argentina, was buried on the island of Ste Marguerite, off the coast of Cannes, and close by where she had been living on the mainland for the past few years.
But at least France has won a rerun in the Battle of Waterloo. This year is the 200th anniversary of the battle, which saw a final end to Napoleon’s ambitions. Why the French are so obsessed with Napoleon, I’m not quite sure. True, some of his achievements were for the betterment of France, including his local government reforms, but in general terms, he was the Putin of his day, creating chaos and destruction all round him. Belgium wanted to produce a two euro coin to commemorate the anniversary, but France thought the design showed their country in a bad light, so they managed to persuade Belgium to drop it.
Valerie Trierweiler is never far from the news. She has now hit the headlines once more because in a discussion with an upstart café owner in the 15th., who asked her in an ironic tone how Francois Hollande was doing, she lost her cool and slapped the man in the face. He had refused to apologise for what he had said about her former lover, so the end result could possibly end up with her in court on an assault charge. She has form in this regard. Last September, she got into a row with the ex-wife of Michel Sapin and slapped her in the face. And it’s said that when she was still ensconced in the Elysée Palace, and first heard about Hollande’s affair with the actress Julie Gayet, she smashed €3 millions’ worth of vases, clocks and paintings.
A new book about Hollande has just come out, yet another. This one is by journalist Francois Bazin, who casts a very acerbic eye on Hollande and doesn’t do him any favours at all. A photo published the other day, showing Hollande at his desk, surrounded by a mass of papers, has also been run in the French media, tagged to a story that he is the messiest working head of state anywhere. But his desk actually seems quite normal!
Talking about slaps in the face comes news that the French version of Top Gear has just gone into the TV schedules. Previously, the UK version had been dubbed in French; it managed to get 400, 000 viewers an episode, but now the makers of the French version claim there is massive interest in their version, which doesn’t feature the boorish Jeremy Clarkson, who may be very rude and obnoxious, but who is at heart a member of the British establishment!
France being France, protests of course continue on a daily basis. In Provence, in very cold weather, people have been busy protesting plans to double the capacity of the Tende tunnel, which links France and Italy. The tunnel can currently take 1,800 vehicles a day and the plan is to create a two way tunnel that will double that capacity. But locals are enraged and say that the area won’t be able to cope with all the extra trucks. In Paris, thousands of medical professionals and students have been out on the streets, protesting against the government’ s plans for health reform. They say that the reforms will put their futures at risk, as well as ruining the French health service, once rated as one of the best in the world, and now descending into the NHS style chaos often seen in England, or the HSE catastrophes in Ireland.
An extraordinary legal case has come back to court in the south of France. A former mayor of Vence, Christian Iacano, was back in court the other day for his third hearing. The 80 year was convicted of raping his grandson and was sentenced to nine years in prison. But his grandson then withdrew the charges and now in the third hearing connected with the case, the assise court of the Rhone is hearing the case all over again. It’s very rare for this type of case review to be held in France; it has only happened eight times since 1945.
Finally, in France, the Hyper Cacher store, which was attacked by a jihadist gunman in January, at the same time Charlie Hebdo was attacked, has finally re-opened. The Minister of the Interior Bernard Cazeneuve, attended the reopening and presented the store with some prestige wine. There’s also been an interesting opening in the south of France, on a much lighter note. At the Hotel Chateau de la Messardiere in St Tropez, an exhibition on the life and times of local resident Brigitte Bardot has just opened. It runs until near the end of October and entrance is free. Bardot, once renowned for her film roles, and now for her animal protection work, will turn 80 come this September 26. The Riviera is also getting its first new major shopping centre since 1983. The Polygone Riviera is due to open Cagnes sur Mer next October, promising the last word in retail goodies and equally stuffed with art works.
On the international front, there has been loads happening. In Spain, Podemos and other left- wing anti- austerity parties are gearing up for an assault on traditional parties in the general election due later this year. They want to repeat the success of Syriza in Greece. But in Greece itself, the effect of Syriza in power has been unsettling, especially for German/ Greek relations, which are now at their lowest ebb. There’s also much talk at the moment that if Greece is forced out of the eurozone, the country will promptly do a deal with Russia.
Russia and Vladimir Putin are as always much in the news, with the first anniversary of Russia annexing Crimea. When the takeover was happening this time last year, there were well documented accounts on various US websites that Russia had some of its nuclear bombers on the runway, all fired up and ready to fly. It now turns out that these accounts were perfectly accurate. Now, Lech Walesa, the man who helped lead Poland out of communism and subsequently was elected president of that country, has warned that Putin is perfectly capable and willing to start world war three, while the west is busy sleeping. What’s now happening with Russia is all too similar to what happened with Germany in the 1930s. The politicians in the west were in doze mode for so long that they failed to prevent the rise of Hitler until it was almost too late. Now, the whole process is being repeated all over again with Russia.
At least, nowadays, the mainstream and social media are well awake to what’ s happening, even in the politicians aren’t. But there are drawbacks. The other day, I listened carefully to all the stories on the Radio 4 news on the BBC, which had a very strong emphasis on stories domestic to the UK. I then tuned in to a news bulletin on Euronews and was amazed at the sheer variety of pertinent world news stories that the BBC simply hadn’t bothered to carry on Radio 4.
A more pressing problem is the upcoming UK general election, now little more than a month away, which looks like resulting in a very fragmented parliament and a very fragile government. The Irish government has taken the sensible step of setting up a planning group to consider what Ireland needs to do if after all, the UK leaves the EU. But long before that possibility, the effects of Greece leaving the eurozone are of much more immediate concern.
The most upcoming event is of course the eclipse of the sun on Friday morning. For most of Europe, it will be a very substantial eclipse and it’ s being said that “ Brest is best” , since Brest in north- west France will be the best place in France to see the eclipse, provided that the sky is clear and appropriate precautions have been taken. At just about the same time, spectacular high tides are expected, so it should be quite a weekend for observers of extraordinary natural phenomena.
Meanwhile, back in the cathedral town of Wells, not far from Bristol, in the south- west of England, there’ s an intriguing story about Louis, the 17 year old cat that has been living in the cathedral for the past decade. The cathedral itself is a wonderful example of medieval church architecture and until recently, it seemed that Louis was behaving with all the decorum expected of a cathedral cat. But now it turns out that he is busy attacking dogs whenever he can find them, in the streets outside. He has turned out to be the Jeremy Clarkson of the cat world!
But if you’ re looking for a little fun and excitement, the best place to go at the moment is a town in Japan called Komaki. Every year it has a festival dedicated to the penis. I was alerted to this year’s festival by the Tribune de Geneve in Switzerland; it even published plenty of photos on its website. Needless to remark, the London papers/ websites are too stuffy to carry this kind of story!
In this Japanese festival, the penis is duly honoured, with large sized sculptures being paraded through the town, even penis shaped lollipops for the women attending! One man was pictured with his nose turned into a penis- fuck knows, perhaps? It’ s all done with a great sense of levity and amusement, among men and women alike, and it all seems so natural, unlike the hang- ups on such subjects in this part of the world. And all joking aside, do spare a thought for the presenter on RTÉ in Ireland the other day. He got a text in from a listener which he read out on his live show and it wasn’t until he got to the end that he realised it was signed by someone called Hugh Jass, a very funny sign off line after a moment’s thought!
To end this week, I must say I was very taken with an expression I saw used this week, tic tac le temps presse. It imitates perfectly the sound of an old- fashioned clock as time hurries on. A lovely and all too fitting phrase!